Sharing a bed with your partner can have many relationship benefits — but may be difficult if one partner has a mismatched sleep schedule, sleep disorder, or clashing bedtime habits. Sharing a bed is not perfect for every couple, but here are a few tips to make bedsharing smoother.
Have you ever woken up cold in the middle of the night because your partner has stolen your share of the blanket while in the throes of restless sleep? It is not pleasant. Skip this rude awakening by having separate blankets that allow each person to regulate their own preferred sleep temperature.
Sync Your Sleep
If your schedules allow, try to sync up sleep schedules. Sharing a similar circadian rhythm will allow you to share more awake time together. This will also minimize one person banging loudly around the house while the other person tries to sleep. Interrupted sleep is never ideal.
You can’t always control your sleep schedule or your chronotype (night owl vs early bird). Creating a harmonious routine together can still help to foster relationship intimacy. For example, the night owl can read in bed and then slip quietly out of the room after the early bird goes to sleep.
Ditch the Snore
Snoring may indicate allergies or sleep apnea among other things. Seeing a sleep specialist means quieter and more restorative sleep for all.
Get the Right Mattress
Having a mattress that’s the right size allows for restless sleepers to keep their space and allows partners more room to regulate their own sleep temperatures. A few inches can really make a difference!
If one partner needs to wake frequently in the night (to use the bathroom for example) have an honest conversation about how to help each other. Try a rug to soften footsteps and dim nightlights to avoid brighter lamps at night.
Get Some Shades
Or even just a sleep mask. That’s probably more comfortable, in fact. A sleep mask will help a lighter sleeper with the small lights your partner may brandish like a cell phone or night lights. Trial a few to find the most comfortable fit.
Create a routine together, whether or not you fall asleep together. Get a lavender spray to mist pillows before bedtime to cue both brains for sleep like a bell would tell Pavlov’s dog it was time to eat.
If one partner is a cuddler, and the other isn’t, try a body pillow. This will allow the cuddler to cozy up in bed while the other partner enjoys their side.
If one partner is overstimulated easily and sensitive to sounds try ear plugs. Ear plug solutions range from flexible foam pieces you can buy at a drug store to high end noise dampeners. Try a few to see what works for you.